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A Common Sense Dress Code for College Students

As a college instructor, parent, and campus minister for over 20 years, I’ve seen it all when it comes to the clothes students wear, or the lack thereof. I’m not particularly conservative or legalistic when it comes to dress, but I do think that some common sense is needed for the best interest of students, and to respect the learning communities of which they are a part. I am not attempting to destroy individuality; I firmly believe that one can dress both appropriately and creatively. I’m no fashionista, so my suggestions aren’t intended to make you the most stylish person around.  I’m not a shopping diva, so I can’t point you to the best sales, but I can tell you that it doesn’t take an enormous budget to dress reasonably.  And reasonability is my goal here, to avoid unnecessary and attention-seeking extremes.

Of course, this isn’t the most theological post I’ll ever write. I do intend this somewhat tongue-and-cheek. But still, there are some serious faith implications for how we think and feel about clothing. Jesus taught, “Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the lilies of the field. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.” In other words, you can surely spend too much and worry too much about these matters. In that light, here are a few common-sense suggestions for dressing in a sensible, simple, and considerate manner.

  1. Get dressed. Seriously. Wear actual clothes intended for public viewing. I get it that you were up late studying, but nobody wants to see what you slept in. Respect the people around you enough to look at least somewhat presentable in class.
  2. Dress according to the season. When in doubt, check the weather app on your phone. If it’s 30 degrees, avoid shorts and flip-flops. You look silly trying to look tough through your hypothermia.
  3. Wear clothes that fit. A blinding flash of the obvious I know. But you’d be surprised … actually, no, you aren’t surprised at how poor a judge people tend to be about what fits and what doesn’t. Here’s a hint – if it takes more than about 2 seconds to slip it on, it’s probably too tight. If you could fit another human being into it with you, it’s probably too big. The extremes look ridiculous to at least half of the population. You aren’t looking for that kind of attention, are you?
  4. Wear clothes that appropriately cover everything that ought to be covered. Remember that cameras are now ubiquitous, so think about that when you head out the door. Your clothes say something about you.  What are you saying with your short shorts, low cut tops, muscle shirts, skin tights skirts, or leggings?
  5. Don’t wear clothes intended for a specific activity unless you’re engaged in that activity, or on your way to or from that activity. Let me be more specific. Yoga pants are for yoga. Gym shorts are for the gym. Hiking pants are for hiking. That makes sense, yes?
  6. Wear clothes that go together. Please, I beg of you, no shorts with snow boots. No jeans with a tuxedo. No running shoes with a dress. No dark calf socks with athletic attire. These may seem trendy to you at the moment, but trust me, you’ll be embarrassed one day.
  7. Avoid clothes obviously intended to draw attention to you. Whether you realize it or not, vulgar tee shirts, extreme colors, and stripes with plaids are all screaming to those around you, “Hey, look at me!!” Is that really what you want to scream?
  8. Ladies, always wear pants. Always. Tights are not pants. Leggings are not pants. Yoga pants only count as pants if you’re at yoga (see #5). If you aren’t sure whether you have on pants, go put on some pants.
  9. Gentlemen, no tanks. Nobody wants to see your deodorant coated armpit hair, no matter how large your biceps are. If you are a weight-lifting athlete, I grant you a once per day exemption to this rule, if and only if you are in the gym. After that, put on a tee shirt.
  10. When you stop growing, buy fewer items of higher quality. This is just a practical tip. When you’re growing a couple of inches a year, you do what you have to do to get by. When you stop growing, start building a reasonably better wardrobe. Most people wear about 20% of what’s in their closet. Only buy items you like better than the 20% of stuff you currently wear. Buy less but get higher quality. You’ll like it better, it’ll last longer, and you’ll save money in the long run.
  11. Clean out your closet every year and give away what you haven’t worn. The principle here is simplicity. There is no sense owning what you don’t need. It takes up limited closet space, makes your other clothes wrinkled, and makes it more difficult to find the clothes you want to wear.
  12. A summary principle – your clothes say something about you. What do you want to say? What are you actually saying? Do these two questions have the same answer?
Campus Ministry College
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To Rush Or Not To Rush? Some Advice for Recruitment Participants

This is the time of year where students on my campus are participating in fraternity and sorority recruitment and receiving bids, or failing to receive bids, from Greek organizations on campus. Although I did not participate in this process as a student, I have observed the process on my own campus for the past 9 years, and seen it on other campuses for a decade longer than that. Each year I see both the joy and emotional turmoil that the process creates in students, both those being recruited and those doing the recruiting. There are things that I observe each year and after repeated conversations with hundreds of students about Greek recruitment, I offer these hopefully helpful and humble bits of advice for students involved.

  1. Always remember that you may not get the bid you want and that you may not get a bid at all. The process is exclusive, just like applying for colleges and scholarships. Exclusivity, in and of itself, is not wrong, but it can be painful. Manage your expectations. If getting ZERO bids is the most frightening thing you can imagine, then you probably have too much skin in the game. Don’t stake your entire college experience on getting a bid!
  2. Be yourself. Don’t suck up and don’t answer questions the way you think someone wants you to answer them. Be honest, truthful, confident, and friendly. Never compromise who you are in what you say or what you do. No bid is worth that. You do not want to be part of an organization that doesn’t want you for who YOU are. Represent yourself, your family, and your faith consistently and fairly and then don’t worry about the consequences. You can always live with the consequences of doing right in God’s eyes. In the end, His opinion matters more than anyone’s.
  3. Realize that formal recruitment activities are a kind of game. People have a tendency to say what they think you want to hear, and people have a tendency to hear what they want to hear. Don’t mistake small talk for hard-and-fast promises. In the crunch time of decision-making, people change their minds, make irrational decisions, and sometimes flat-out make mistakes. Don’t let what you hear in conversation build up your hopes or expectations. Let the process play out in its own time.
  4. You are not the sum total of your bids. If you get multiple bids or get none, you are no better and no worse a person than you were before you started the process. Your identity as a person need not be altered by whether or not the organization of your choice chooses you.
  5. Nobody can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission. Greek organizations make choices on the basis of criteria that are not usually public. Sometimes those criteria are objective (GPA, legacy connections, your interest and participation in the process) and sometimes they are subjective (your appearance, your personality, your social connections). Organizations have to decide who fits and who doesn’t, and fit can be a subjective thing in any organization. You are who you are, be confident in that, and don’t let recruitment shake your confidence.
  6. Decide now that you won’t let recruitment change you in negative ways. Some get rejected and get bitter, and that clouds their perception of people, organizations, and universities for years to come. Some get accepted and immediately change their social connections, rearranging friendships, social engagements, or campus ministries to fit a new set of perceived expectations from their affiliation. Both responses are silly, immature, and honestly un-Christlike.
  7. If you are offended in the process, forgive! People are human and will make mistakes. Sometimes organizations collectively make mistakes, and this includes not only Greek organizations but also campus ministries. As a campus minister, I’ve had to apologize for harm done by organizations that I lead. Greek organizations will make mistakes and those mistakes will sometimes hurt people. If you are one of those people, talk to someone, reach out, and help leaders improve the process. If you are a Samford student, you can email greeklife@samford.edu to register your concerns. But know that if you refuse to forgive, the bitterness that builds in you ultimately harms you the most.
  8. If you get the exact bid you want and everything goes your way, congratulations! Now use your affiliation to do good. Be a loyal member, be humble, give to your philanthropy, support your organization, use your influence to make things better, and live your letters. Avoid petty rivalries, refuse to participate in unwise behaviors, and do not conform to the stereotypes that would reshape your fundamental identity. Represent Christ well to those in your organization and outside of it. Make the most of every opportunity the privilege brings you.

In conclusion, remember that Greek membership is only one of many opportunities to get involved on campus.  If you receive a bid, your affiliation with a Greek organization should add dimension to your campus experience but not be the only thing that defines it. If you fail to receive a bid or choose not to participate, there are still innumerable ways to enjoy your campus experience so that you should never feel left out or excluded from all that college has to offer. Greek or non-Greek, so much of college is what you make of it.

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Meeting with Students: Four Kinds of Conversations

Recently, one of our interns asked me how I provide pastoral care for students. This week I had two separate discussions with faculty members who asked about the kinds of meetings that I have with students. With these conversations in mind, I’ve tried to think more carefully about the kinds of interactions I have with students and what strategies and outcomes may be appropriate for each. Generally speaking, here are four types of conversations I regularly have with students and my strategies and goals for each:

1. Crisis Intervention. Regularly I am in conversation with a student who has suffered a significant loss, experienced a major tragedy, or is faced with the prospect of a crisis (perceived or real). Typically such a student is overwhelmed, has no experience with major trauma, and may be immobilized by the shock of the situation. In these cases, the ministry of presence is important, a listening ear invaluable, and only a few carefully selected words appropriate. Somethings students barely remember these meetings or feel embarrassed that they broke down in my office. Follow-up after the initial meeting is almost always necessary to be sure students are getting the support they need and to reassure them that their feelings are natural and my support unwavering. Instances where a student is a danger to self or others, immediate intervention in mandatory and in these instances alone, pastoral confidentiality is suspended to protect lives.

2. Pastoral Care. Often students not yet in crisis begin to feel significant levels of stress, grief, pain, confusion, depression or anxiety that begins to interfere with their ability to function, to grow spiritually, or to enjoy a reasonably level of happiness and enjoyment in life. Such students are often genuinely seeking advice, some action steps they can take to improve their life situation. Of course sometimes students just want some attention, someone to listen, and to know someone cares. In these cases, I try to determine what the student wants and needs and whether the student’s condition is episodic or chronic (some psychological training helps here). Sometimes a single meeting that concludes with me praying for a student is all that is needed. Often I sense that students need longer term assistance from a counselor and I make referrals. I help students frame the issues they face biblically and theologically, and hopefully set them up for some success in counseling when that is needed.

3. Theological counsel. Sometimes students just have questions about life and faith. What does the Bible say about a particular topic? What should I believe about a particular theological, social or political issue? What is God’s will for my life? How do I handle this complex relationship or family situation? Through the years, this has been the most common type of conversation that I have with students. Here I find that students genuinely want answers. I usually resist the urge to give them my answers, but instead try to give them resources so that they can read, think, pray, study, contemplate, and make decisions on their own. I obviously have strongly held convictions about matters of faith and I will advocate for those, but only to the degree that I am not acting manipulatively, recognizing that I am in a power relationship with most students so coercion would be easy.

4. Supervision and Mentoring. We have approximately 30 student workers in our office so personnel supervision is an ongoing responsibility. I have to correct, encourage, compliment, and sometimes fire student employees. Business training is helpful here since people are not necessarily born with managerial skills, but a general rule of thumb is practice open and honest communication and give timely feedback. For some students, I serve in more of a mentor role, either because they ask or because the nature of their work with my office requires it. I generally try to keep the number of students I mentor to 2-3 at most. This takes more time, more insight, more regular meetings, and a long-term investment that will likely include all types of conversations, including crisis intervention, pastoral care, and theological counsel. These relationships also tends to yield the most student growth over time. And these are students who tend to stay in touch after graduation.

Of course, some conversations are hybrids and involve multiple strategies and hopeful outcomes. Some yield remarkable fruit and benefit students in transformative ways. But of course, some go nowhere and seem to accomplish nothing, and that can be frustrating. I try to remember that my job is to plant seeds. Seeds take a long time to grow and their growth may take place haltingly, beneath the surface, and only in season, imperceptible to superficial observation. Such is campus ministry. Such is the Kingdom of God.

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Visiting Campus: Some Advice for Parents of Freshmen

After move-in day, you head home and hopefully get 2-3 weeks of separation from your student before he or she comes home or you go back to visit. These weeks are crucial for students to make connections and establish habits that will sustain them in the months that follow. A premature visit can disrupt that process, but a well-timed visit to campus a few weeks into the semester can help both parents and students reconnect as a family, catch up on each other’s lives, and evaluate how the college experience is affecting all involved. So if you haven’t seen your student for a few weeks and you’re planning a visit for Parents Weekend, here are a few things to keep in mind.

  1. Talk to your student briefly before the visit to discuss in advance what time you’ll spend together, what functions you’ll attend together or separately, where you’ll sit for the football game, where you might go to church on Sunday, and other such plans. Communication in advance will help you all manage your expectations for the weekend. Except in dire circumstances, never pop in for a visit unannounced.
  2. Don’t expect to spend every waking hour with your student when you visit campus. Your son or daughter now has a life that doesn’t often include you. Friends, studies, rituals, habits, organizations, and responsibilities now occupy his or her time. Those things don’t cease just because you’re visiting. On our first visit to campus to see my son, he dropped by our tailgate for a few minutes, crammed his stomach full of food, and then returned to game-day festivities with his friends after about 30 minutes. We saw him later in the day, and some the next, but he went right on with his life, which showed me that he’d adjusted well to college.
  3. Avoid the temptation to read too much into your student’s response to seeing you. Some students may be tearful and others rather placid. Their emotional reaction to your visit may be more a factor of how much sleep they’ve gotten than their excitement or aversion to seeing you. And here’s a hint: your student is probably ALWAYS sleep deprived, so take their reactions with a grain of salt.
  4. Look around at your student’s life. Take a mental snap-shot of what you see. What are your student’s friends like? Is the car running well and in decent shape? Is his/her room functionally organized? Of course it is reasonable to begin to form some preliminary evaluations, but keep your observations to yourself for now. Parent’s Weekend should probably be a time for celebration more than correction.
  5. Pick your battles. As you see your student’s life on campus, you will inevitably find some things you are pleased with and some things that bother you. Don’t micromanage, but you should express concern where it is warranted. When my wife first visited our son’s dorm room, she was appalled by the smell. I was more concerned with my son’s sleep habits. Although different things felt important to each of us, we had to be careful that we didn’t nit-pick. As you talk with your student about college life, try to focus on the things that really matter.
  6. Ask the right questions. We parents tend to ask our students general questions like, “How’s the semester going?” or “Are you doing well in your math class?” Such questions tend to elicit monosyllabic responses. Instead, ask specific questions that are easier to answer and yield more information, such as “What is your favorite thing about campus?” or “Who is your favorite professor and why?” or “What is the most difficult part of being a college student?” I have a talkative child and two quiet children and these questions have tended to work better for them all at any age.
  7. Relax and have fun. Go into the weekend with a light-hearted attitude expecting to have fun. You may be worried or anxious about how your student is adjusting and that is normal. Express confidence in how they are doing, be encouraging, take them to eat at their favorite restaurant, and maybe give them a little extra spending money. This is a weekend for things that lighten the mood and lift the spirits. A bit of preparation and forethought can help it be so.
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The Meaning of Christian Faith as Simply as I Know How to Explain It

God created all things and called the world that he created “very good.” Man and woman, happy and in perfect relationship with the creation and the Creator. Tempted by the desire to be like God, man and woman rebelled against God and sin entered the world. Every evil, every ounce of suffering, every war and death and disease and disaster originates from a good creation that is broken by sin. 

In response, God chooses the nation of Israel to use for his purposes to begin to restore the world. He taught Israel how to live as his chosen people, set them free from captivity, provided for their needs and gave them the law (10 Commandments, and a few others). But the law that was a gift was also a curse. The law exposes how truly broken we are. This was God’s plan all along, to teach us that we cannot be good enough to fix the world, to be genuinely happy again, or to restore a perfect relationship with God. The prophets, priests, and kings of Ancient Israel teach us that in the pages of the Old Testament.

Enter Jesus. He was an Israelite, the next step in God’s plan through Israel to remake the creation. He was born, lived, and died as a human being. But he was also God, the Son of God, the incarnation of God, the fullness of God in a human being. He was tempted like us, laughed like us, hurt like us, cried like us, bled like us, but without sin, without fault. So when he was executed he didn’t deserve it. He sacrificed himself for us, and in some mysterious way that I cannot fully understand, he took upon himself the sin and pain and misery of the world in order to fix it. There was a debt I owed that he paid. I was captive to an old life and he set me free. I deserved a punishment that he took in my place. The God of the universe is so just that he could not ignore sin, and so filled with love that he could not let it destroy us. So God sent Jesus to fix the problem. And Jesus did, and is continuing to do so, and will one day complete that task for good at the end of time, at the end of the world as we know it. In the words of Andrew Peterson, the world was good, the world is fallen, the world will be redeemed.

What does this mean for us? We cannot fix ourselves. We cannot manage our own spiritual lives. We cannot restore ourselves or the world to the good condition in which God created it. We need Jesus. And the good news is this, literally the Gospel is this, that Jesus invites us to follow him, to believe in him, to trust him with our lives. And if we do so, he saves us from all that is wrong with us and from all that is wrong with the world. He restores us to a right relationship with God and with other people, gives us companionship, meaning and purpose in the Church, and begins the process of fixing everything. We do nothing to earn what God gives – this is grace, all of God offered to us in Christ. We acknowledge our sin and accept God’s gift, with the faith that God is who the Bible says he is, and that Jesus did what the Bible says he did for us. We enter a new relationship with him. All things become new.

– Presented at Freshmen Retreat, Samford University, August 29, 2014 and Shades Mountain Baptist UMin, August 31, 2014

Bible Biblical Interpretation Theology
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What I Put In My Syllabus for Freshmen

The following statement appears at the end of my syllabus for the course I teach freshmen at Samford University:

“You are here at Samford to be a student.  You are paying good money to be here, or someone else is, even if you are on scholarship.  Make the most of the opportunities this class provides.  I will probably not be the greatest professor you have. I will probably not be the worst either.  I will do my absolute best to teach, but what you learn is largely up to you.  You should not cheer when your classes are cancelled due to bad weather or illness.  Skipping class is wasting money, like not eating what you’ve ordered at a nice restaurant.  You’ve paid for these classes – you should get your money’s worth.  You should never whine or moan or complain about assignments, however long or boring or complicated they may seem.  Refuse to be wimpy students!  Learn everything that you can during this time in your life when your primary responsibility is to learn.  You may never have an opportunity like this again. YOLO.  Carpe Diem.”

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How Should We Live? A Very Brief Introduction to Ethics

“Every pursuit aims at some good.” – Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics

“Pride comes before a fall.” – Proverbs 16:18

Introduction
Students in both my graduate level Corporate Integrity class and my freshmen level Core Texts class read quite a bit of philosophy. Some consider philosophy boring or impractical, but in some ways philosophy is the most practical of academic disciplines because it helps us think about the things that matter most in life.  Philosophy deals with the good, the true, and the beautiful (ethics, epistemology, and aesthetics), the necessary components of a life well lived. Ethics helps us think about what a good life looks like.

From a Christian perspective, a good life comes by grace through faith in Christ, but the gift of grace is not the end of the Christian life. Instead, grace should motivate right behavior. The field of ethics helps us think carefully about right behavior. What is good? How should we live? The major of schools of ethical thought help us answer these questions. Let me list four, describe them, and discuss their strengths and limitations.

1. Consequentialist Ethics. Sometimes called teleological ethics, consequentialism focuses on the outcome of a particular behavior. An action is good if it achieves a good end. There are two forms of consequentialism, egoism (act to maximize your own good) and utilitarianism (act to maximize the greatest good for the greatest number). Of course questions remain as to what goods should be maximized and for whom. Should we, for example, prioritize a growing economy or a clean environment? Should we sacrifice the needs of a wealthy minority for the needs of the poor majority? And how might we distinguish between needs and desires? Surely we desire many things that we do not genuinely need.

2. Rule or Duty Ethics. Sometimes called deontological ethics, rule or duty ethics focus on the obligations, rules, principles, laws, norms or duties that guide behavior. An action is good if it conforms to an accepted rule or duty. One classic expression of deontological ethics includes Immanuel Kant’s Categorical Imperative: treat people as ends not means, and act only on that principle that you would will to be a universal law. Another expression of deontology includes John Locke’s Social Contract Theory: if you choose to live in a society, you should respect the rights of others within that society. Deontology, however, raises obvious questions. How do we determine rules, duties, and rights? Are there ever exceptions to a rule? Can I tell a lie to save a life (as many did, for example, to hide Jews from the Nazis)?

3. Virtue Ethics. Sometimes called character ethics, this school of thought focuses on the development of virtue, the traits that lead to ethical decisions. An action is good if it embodies a virtue (integrity, trustworthiness, humility) and avoids a vice (greed, dishonesty, arrogance). Of course one might ask what virtues are most important, and whether or not it is possible for a vice sometimes to produce a good outcome.

4. Divine Command Theory. Here, an action is right if God commands it. There are two (mutually exclusive?) forms of divine command theory: (1) Plato – God only commands actions that are good, and (2) Ockham – Any action God commands is good. Plato’s view runs the risk of placing good over, God if it is something to which God is bound. Ockham’s view runs the risk of making good entirely arbitrary, such that humans could never know what was good apart from specific rules. Divine command theory raises some obvious questions. Which god’s command should be followed? How can one truly know God has commanded an action? Can God command something seemingly unethical (as when God commands Abraham to murder his son Isaac)?

Conclusion
No single school of ethical thought solves every moral dilemma. Some situations involve unavoidable moral complexity. Each school of thought contributes something to the conversation, but each has obvious limitations. Most people utilize a combination decision-making philosophies, but gravitate toward one in particular. It is wise to know one’s own ethical tendencies and to understand the strengths and weaknesses of that school of thought. To know what you don’t know requires humility, without which the good life (and God’s grace) will likely elude you.

Ethics Theology
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Things Parents Should Know About College

Note: The following is an abbreviated version of a talk I will give to parents of rising college freshmen at Shades Mountain Baptist on July 31st, 2014. Special thanks to Arliss Dickerson, a long-time campus minister at Arkansas State, who originally blogged on this topic and I got the idea and title from him. I compiled my content from a variety of sources, including campus ministers, student affairs professionals, and academic research, but the opinions expressed here are my own and not necessarily those of my colleagues.

  1. College is worth it. In purely economic terms, college is a good investment. Even with escalating tuition costs, high unemployment among recent college grads, and falling wages, a college degree today is still worth over $1 million in additional earnings through age 65 (an average ROI of 14-15%). In terms of emotional growth, psychologists suggest that the two greatest times of change in a person’s life are (1) birth to age one, and (2) the first year of college. In educational terms, students who want to learn will learn, and most students still want to learn, although not all. (Rebekah Nathan has an interesting book on this subject).
  1. College is difficult. This seems obvious, I know, but somehow many freshmen seem surprised when they take their first tests and get back their first papers and their grades are lower than they expected. Professors assign more work and expect better work. The most successful students attend class almost always, take good notes by hand (not on laptops), ask good questions in class, meet their professors outside of class, and generally take the educational aspect of college life very seriously.
  1. The most common mistake students make … parking tickets! There are many places where students can make mistakes, some serious and some trivial. Never fear the statistically improbable. Chances are, your students aren’t going to make the most serious kinds of mistakes. The most common mistake is parking. Parking is extremely limited on most campuses. Parking tickets are usually really expensive and the folks who give tickets are typically highly skilled, vigilant employees!
  1. Generally speaking, faculty culture is averse to traditional Christian belief. This is increasingly true at state universities, and even true at some private Christian colleges. Students who write papers or give speeches in support of traditional Christian beliefs and values should be prepared for disagreement from classmates and faculty members. This is not to discourage students from addressing such topics with courage and conviction, only to encourage them to do so with great care, intelligence, and humility. Many faculty members have spent years interacting with arrogant students who hold Christian beliefs but have not applied intellectual rigor to those beliefs.
  1. Almost all campuses have spiritual growth opportunities available to students. Students aren’t merely preparing for a career, they are seeking a vocation. This is best done in Christian community. Fortunately, with the exception of a very few colleges, freedom of religion is alive and well on campus. Campus ministries and college friendly churches abound, particularly in the south. Learn about them and communicate your expectation your students find a place to connect spiritually. Students who nurture their spiritual lives while in college tend to be more settled emotionally and less likely to be overwhelmed academically. (See research from HERI on this subject). The sad reality is that nearly 80% of students who grow up regularly attending church, abandon all connection to the church while in college. I can assure you that this drop out rate isn’t for lack of resources.
  1. Alcohol is a serious problem on most college campuses. Alcohol has powerful symbolic meaning for most college students. Students associate alcohol use with freedom, adulthood, community, and belonging. And they make these associations long before they take their first drink. American culture and the billions spent on marketing represent incredibly powerful forces that shape perceptions about the role alcohol plays in the transition from childhood to adulthood. The most serious problems on most college campuses, from academic failure to the growing problem of sexual assault, have strong correlations with alcohol use. You should know that if your children pledge a fraternity or sorority, you may be unwittingly supporting a culture of alcohol abuse. Of all the conversations you should have with your sons and daughters before they start college, the alcohol conversation is a must!
  1. Let your children handle their own business. Have you heard of helicopter parenting? Once upon a time, parents dropped their children off at college and left them alone until Christmas break, sink or swim. College is so expensive now that parents can’t afford for their students to fail, and so parents hover. Resist the temptation! Problems with roommates? Refer them to Residence Life. Struggles in a class? Refer them to the professor, a campus tutoring service (most are free), or the academic success center. Teach them to solve their own problems, manage their own social lives, and take care of their own business. Don’t give them all the answers. Let them make mistakes. Give them space to think and act for themselves. Intervene only after they’ve done everything possible to solve a problem and the issue is still debilitating them or you in some way.
  1. The first three weeks of school can determine a student’s college career. Talk to your students about starting off on the right foot, setting the right priorities, making the right plans, and finding the right connections (a church, a campus ministry, a campus organization). Start off with good habits of sleep, diet, exercise, worship, etc. If your students go away to college, make sure they do NOT come home during the first three weeks of school. Students who get involved in a campus organization do better in school, are happier, less likely to transfer, and more likely to graduate.
  1. Universities are businesses. Learn the business. Schools care about you, but they also care about their own bottom line. Financial aid, course loads, textbook sales, residence life, campus dining, etc. are all complicated, all specific to a particular campus, all streams of revenue for universities, and are all EXPENSIVE. Not every college is worth what it charges. Some degrees are worth more than others. Even though students change majors 3-4 times on average, an extra year of college (“the victory lap”) is usually not worth the money (it decreases ROI). Without intervening in your student’s business, learn to navigate your particular university’s academic culture and business climate. Work the system, avoid debt whenever possible, save money, expect your son/daughter to have a job, and communicate your family’s financial realities with your student.
  1. A good college experience is not terribly complicated or difficult. One study suggests that a good college experience is as simple as finding 2-3 good friends and building 1-2 strong faculty/staff relationships (which includes campus ministers and college pastors). If your students go to class, prioritize academics, work intentionally to connect during the first three weeks, and keep the faith, they are highly likely to do well. I pray they do!

[Special thanks to Lauren Taylor, Janna Pennington, Paige Acker, Kyle Bailey, and Laura Breedlove for their particular contribution to the content of this talk/blog post.]

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Choices (for college freshmen)

[The following is a brief version of a devotional I’ve done for years at Freshmen Orientation at Samford University.]

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Proverbs 19.21

In 1986, at the age of 17, I left home for college. I loaded up my car with all my possessions, and drove, for the first time by myself, the 60 miles from my hometown of Lafayette to Louisiana State University. I got directions from my dad, who told me to drive East 60 miles and take the first exit after crossing the river. “You can’t miss it,” he said confidently. But after 60 miles I saw no river, no city, only farmland. I pulled over and called my dad to tell his directions were less than adequate. He asked me for a landmark. The last sign I’d seen said “Lake Charles – 10 miles.” After a long pause on the phone, my dad sighed and said, “Son, you drove the wrong way on the interstate.”
As a result of my directional faux pas, I arrived 2 hours late to check-in at my assigned residence hall and I was assigned a different floor and a different roommate. Denis McCain, a guy I knew from my hometown, later introduced me to Jon Barton, who introduced me to Chris Place, who introduced me to Jonlyn Robson, who later became Jonlyn Kerlin – my wife of nearly 20 years and the mother of my 3 children. The moral of the story is that because of a driving error, I met the love of my life.

The author of Proverbs recognizes two realities that we sometimes see as contradictory. First, we must make choices, and hopefully wise ones. We consider our options, weigh the pros and cons, seek wise counsel, pray and follow what we know from God’s word, trust the direction of God’s Spirit, and then make a decision. We don’t always hear with crystal clarity the obvious voice of God telling us specifically what to do. Sometimes our choices are between two seemingly equally good options. Often, we must make decisions with limited information and take risks. Decision-making is a complex business, especially for those seeking to follow God’s will. We will often get it right and we will sometimes get it wrong. We are redeemed and we are fallen. Such is life.
But the author of Proverbs also recognizes a second reality – the Lord’s purposes prevail. This means that sometimes God creates, from our worst mistakes, His greatest plans. Consider Joseph, sold into slavery by his brothers, mistreated by his owners, but ultimately promoted to second in command in Egpyt. “You meant it for evil,” Joseph tells his brothers, “but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50.19). Consider Judas, that most reviled of biblical characters. Who greedily sought to profit from Jesus’ downfall. Could there be a worse mistake? Yet all that he did was to fulfill prophecy and to accomplish God’s overarching purposes for His creation. This is difficult for us to wrap our brains around, to be honest. That God can take our mistakes and those of others, and use them to accomplish his greater purposes, is a testament both to our frailty and God’s sovereignty. So take courage and make decisions boldly and wisely. Do not be paralyzed by the fact that you aren’t sure which way to go, which school to attend, where to live or exactly what to study. Do the things you know you must do to consider wisely your ways. And then, even if God has not spoken to you in an audible voice (God does this rather rarely you know), be bold, make a choice and own it, whether it turns out well or not. Sometimes your most embarrassing choices, rather than your best ones, will result in God’s greatest blessings.

God's Will
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How College Works – Faculty Connections are Key

Recently, the president of Samford University, Dr. Andrew Westmoreland, offered the following succinct summary of a book entitled How College Works, by Dan Champion and Christopher Takacs: According to their research, “A great college experience is built on relationships with two or three friends and meaningful encounters with one or two faculty members.  Everything else, according to Champion, pales by comparison.” Here are the book’s major recommendations for improving the learning environments at colleges, as summarized by Dr. Westmoreland:

1.  Deploy the best teachers for maximum impact.  He says that it is okay–even preferable–for good teachers to teach large classes because it improves the chance that all students will encounter good teachers, hopefully in their first semester. It is a mistake to offer small sections of first- and second-year courses, taught by bad teachers. The bad teachers should teach upper level courses where they will do less damage.

2.  Use space to help people meet. In an interesting observation, Champion says that long halls in residence halls with shared bathrooms offer the greatest chance that new students will develop friends. Apartment-style housing is not friendly toward friend development.  Spaces on campus should prompt “hanging out.”

3.  Use strategic scheduling to improve the odds for learning. The best teachers and courses should be placed in the best time slots. Champion calls for active management of scheduling by deans and department chairs.

4.  Help motivated students find each other. His suggestions here apply primarily to extra-curricular organizations, but he also offers the observation that an invitation to dinner at a faculty home is perhaps the greatest single factor in promoting long-lasting student satisfaction.

5.  Focus especially on students’ early careers. He offers nothing surprising on this subject to long-time observers of new student orientation, but he affirms a strong effort to achieve a positive welcome to the campus for all students. Also, learn their preferred names and call them by their names.

6.  Use the arithmetic of engagement. The arithmetic needs to be focused on connecting those few, key relationships.

I would like to add a personal comment with regard to number 4 above. This past spring, my staff implemented a Home Group program at Samford University. The idea is that groups of 10-12 students meet weekly in the home of a faculty or staff member to share a meal, Bible study, prayers, spiritual conversation, etc. The kickoff was tremendous with remarkable student participation and faculty support. This fall we anticipate nearly 30 groups hosted by Samford employees. We got the idea from a campus ministry at Pepperdine University, and would love for others to steal it too and report back about how it works.

Do you remember visiting the home of a faculty member during your university years? How did the experience shape your college experience?

Campus Ministry College